So I went to the library today. Books are mysterious. You can't really tell who people are by what they read, but you can tell what their innermost thoughts which drew them to a certain book.
I checked out JavaScript for Dummies. Finished the HTML book and am progressing on to greater heights with this webpage making business. Maya Angelou in pictures. She came to our university and some people got to see her give a lecture. Watership Down on tape. My mind's going to the bunnies.
The Dance of Anger. One of those self-help books I try not to get. Sometimes my mom just trys to tick me off. Then she laughs about it. The irony is that she doesn't herself know that she does this, so she feels innocent. So I'm basically with this big, willful child whom I cannot control for the life of me who's belligerently questioning and critizing me. We end up afraid of each other's shadows.
Lastly, a novel, Ben, In the World, and Love Poems. Going on about my mom, she's has a carefully crafted vision of herself as perfect. She often points out other people whom she wishes I were like. She says she hates me, Megan. She doesn't really exist. Do you understand what I mean by that? Like the person who is evil, crude and childish in her doesn't really exist. Like it's her fallback person that she becomes when things don't go well. She becomes a solid, unclimbable wall, an unpentatrable fortress.
So I hate her. And I believe it's unhealthy to hate others, at least for long periods of time. At the most, I don't trust her. It's frustrating, because I don't want my world to consist of the love-hate relationship I have with my mother. But her relationship with me takes up her whole world. It fills it and expands my every move out of proportion, making me the target of critisism.
I know I could do better. I know I could garner her respect and love by being better than I am. I cannot do that without other people around me who give respect. There are times where I cannot stand being who I am. That's when I turn to Maya. And love poems. And the Tao-Te-Ching. And calling friends. And buying flowers, even though I cannot afford them. I am a mess and I feel like my mother makes me a garbage dump instead of embracing my differences, she must judge and critize and burn me until I am nothing but ashes.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Vitamins in My Cabinet
There are a ton of vitamins sitting placidly, as normal vitamins should, (I would be afraid if they were bouncing around) in one of the dusty top shelves in our kitchen. I thought it would be interesting to find out what each vitamin does and which ones I should or shouldn't take.
With no further ado, I present Vitamin C. In one of the larger bottles, instead of being the usual colorful orange, they are a dusky brown. On the bottle, it describes the vitamin as protecting the bodies cells from potential damage and enhancing the immune system. We could all use a boost to the immunie system. I found on Wikipedia the even greater benefits of The V-C. It acts as a co-enzyme in the body working with collegen, which I'm sure you've heard is important to the health of your skin, teeth, and bones. It affects the bodies processing of dopamine, noradrenaline, and adrinaline, which keep you energized and happy. There's also something you may not know about-Vitamin C affects carnitine, an enzyme that helps with energy transfer in the mitochondria.
Also found in our medicine cabinet is the Vitamin E. Labeled "Heart and Circulation," this product is recommended to help boost the immune system and reputed to maintain a healthy heart. Wikipedia states Vitamin E is a powerful antioxidant, which stops free radicals which may cause harm to the body in the form of heart disease and cancer.
Collecting dust unopened in that corner of the house is "Stess B-Complex," containing Vitamin C and Zinc, the suppliment which looks the newest and freshest and of which I'd probably pop a few. The bottle claims along with reducing stress that it's vitamins help convert food into energy, is essential to growth and development and aids in immune defense. Vitamin B's are actually a range of different pieces to the organic puzzle: including thiamine and riboflavin. Several of these vitamins are reputed to boost immune response, maintain healthy skin and muscles, boost metabolism, and promote cell growth and division. A lack in these vitamins results in several different maladies. So make sure you get your B's!
Along with these vitamins, there's Zinc and Iron suppliments. Zinc and Iron, you can find on the periodic table so what are they doing mixed with vitamins? Zinc is naturally produced in the body, the forebrain taking the lead in production, as an activator of certian enzymes. From the NIH's Office of Dietary Suppliments we have a disscussion of Iron as essential in transport of oxygen in the blood. Without iron no oxygen could get to your blood cells so it's an important part of a healthy diet.
Others which could be labeled suppliments, rather than vitamins are cod liver oil, L-Tyrosine, Ginkgo/Gotu Kola, Bone Meal, and Echinacea complex. Those vitamins are best left to another day.
For now I think I'll start taking the B-Vitamin Stress complex and see if I notice any changes in energy and skin tone. We have all these vitamins and no-one every uses them, so I'll take a step into the coals for once and use myself as a vitamin guinea pig.
With no further ado, I present Vitamin C. In one of the larger bottles, instead of being the usual colorful orange, they are a dusky brown. On the bottle, it describes the vitamin as protecting the bodies cells from potential damage and enhancing the immune system. We could all use a boost to the immunie system. I found on Wikipedia the even greater benefits of The V-C. It acts as a co-enzyme in the body working with collegen, which I'm sure you've heard is important to the health of your skin, teeth, and bones. It affects the bodies processing of dopamine, noradrenaline, and adrinaline, which keep you energized and happy. There's also something you may not know about-Vitamin C affects carnitine, an enzyme that helps with energy transfer in the mitochondria.
Also found in our medicine cabinet is the Vitamin E. Labeled "Heart and Circulation," this product is recommended to help boost the immune system and reputed to maintain a healthy heart. Wikipedia states Vitamin E is a powerful antioxidant, which stops free radicals which may cause harm to the body in the form of heart disease and cancer.
Collecting dust unopened in that corner of the house is "Stess B-Complex," containing Vitamin C and Zinc, the suppliment which looks the newest and freshest and of which I'd probably pop a few. The bottle claims along with reducing stress that it's vitamins help convert food into energy, is essential to growth and development and aids in immune defense. Vitamin B's are actually a range of different pieces to the organic puzzle: including thiamine and riboflavin. Several of these vitamins are reputed to boost immune response, maintain healthy skin and muscles, boost metabolism, and promote cell growth and division. A lack in these vitamins results in several different maladies. So make sure you get your B's!
Along with these vitamins, there's Zinc and Iron suppliments. Zinc and Iron, you can find on the periodic table so what are they doing mixed with vitamins? Zinc is naturally produced in the body, the forebrain taking the lead in production, as an activator of certian enzymes. From the NIH's Office of Dietary Suppliments we have a disscussion of Iron as essential in transport of oxygen in the blood. Without iron no oxygen could get to your blood cells so it's an important part of a healthy diet.
Others which could be labeled suppliments, rather than vitamins are cod liver oil, L-Tyrosine, Ginkgo/Gotu Kola, Bone Meal, and Echinacea complex. Those vitamins are best left to another day.
For now I think I'll start taking the B-Vitamin Stress complex and see if I notice any changes in energy and skin tone. We have all these vitamins and no-one every uses them, so I'll take a step into the coals for once and use myself as a vitamin guinea pig.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Happiness as Energy
Do you think true happiness really exists? Perhaps there are only degrees, like with absolute zero. Absolute zero where a molecule stops moving altogether and is frozen with absolutely no movement of the atoms has not been able to be found. So is absolute happiness, with no fear or hate or desire coming in the way possible? Or is it, like temperature, just degrees of happiness.
Is happiness based on a a heirarchy of needs, like Maslow's or is it more elusive than such? Happiness one of those vauge and ever-changing ideas that we use to express certain feelings that we have, certain emotions.
There is not much done in the way of mixing physics with psychics, the concrete world connected with the abstract. So what if you considered emotions as energy? For example, hate energy and love energy. Energy, according to Einstien is mc2. The m standing for mass and the c standing for the speed of light in a vaccumn. So if emotions have produce a certain energy within us, as often described with people feeling that they have more or less energy, then they must mave a mass. Of course this could be considered nutritional science. But why do some people get depressed while others stay mentally healthy? There must be some sort of emotional weight they are carrying.
While there may not be an answer to these questions now, the future is bright for those searching for a new and different way of looking at things.
Is happiness based on a a heirarchy of needs, like Maslow's or is it more elusive than such? Happiness one of those vauge and ever-changing ideas that we use to express certain feelings that we have, certain emotions.
There is not much done in the way of mixing physics with psychics, the concrete world connected with the abstract. So what if you considered emotions as energy? For example, hate energy and love energy. Energy, according to Einstien is mc2. The m standing for mass and the c standing for the speed of light in a vaccumn. So if emotions have produce a certain energy within us, as often described with people feeling that they have more or less energy, then they must mave a mass. Of course this could be considered nutritional science. But why do some people get depressed while others stay mentally healthy? There must be some sort of emotional weight they are carrying.
While there may not be an answer to these questions now, the future is bright for those searching for a new and different way of looking at things.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Bag Lady?
There's a red dust storm covering Arlington. The news says it's from West Texas. I say it's from hell because of it's milky red appearance. The wind blows strong and coughs up dust with each gust. Where did this come from and when will it go remains to be seen, but I bet tonight will have a killer sunset.
Went into the Dollar Tree today. Gosh, they have everything, from light bulbs to flower bulbs, from kiddie makeup to little chairs. That's right, like on Grey's Anatomy last night, you can buy furniture for only a dollar. I sort of feel like the bag lady when I go in there. Muttering happily to myself and exclaiming over certain amusing artifacts buried amonst the rubble. If I'm to keep up this "path of the bums" way I'm going, i.e. bumming off my mom, then I'll certainly need to keep up with the ways of the world of bums, hence, the bag lady.
What 3 things do you need to know to be a bag lady? Well first is bags. You must have bags slung around your body at all times, because if you don't, well, you're just a lady.
Shopping carts from local grocery stores also add to the bag lady's accoutrements. If you can't find a shopping cart, use an old cardboard box that you pull around on a string tied through a hole in the box. Mutter at the box as if it is a pet. If boxes are hard to find, there's always bags.
A personal bag lady favorite is mutterings and although it's more of a religious freak's duty, there's always the bag lady that wants to pass on wisdom of the coming plauge or end of the world.
The third thing: to be a bag lady, coping skills are a must, as it's not an easy job. People often stare at you and at times naughty boys throw rotten fruit. There are many trash bags and cans to explore so let your curiosity get the best of you. Best of luck to you with your bag lady explorations.
Went into the Dollar Tree today. Gosh, they have everything, from light bulbs to flower bulbs, from kiddie makeup to little chairs. That's right, like on Grey's Anatomy last night, you can buy furniture for only a dollar. I sort of feel like the bag lady when I go in there. Muttering happily to myself and exclaiming over certain amusing artifacts buried amonst the rubble. If I'm to keep up this "path of the bums" way I'm going, i.e. bumming off my mom, then I'll certainly need to keep up with the ways of the world of bums, hence, the bag lady.
What 3 things do you need to know to be a bag lady? Well first is bags. You must have bags slung around your body at all times, because if you don't, well, you're just a lady.
Shopping carts from local grocery stores also add to the bag lady's accoutrements. If you can't find a shopping cart, use an old cardboard box that you pull around on a string tied through a hole in the box. Mutter at the box as if it is a pet. If boxes are hard to find, there's always bags.
A personal bag lady favorite is mutterings and although it's more of a religious freak's duty, there's always the bag lady that wants to pass on wisdom of the coming plauge or end of the world.
The third thing: to be a bag lady, coping skills are a must, as it's not an easy job. People often stare at you and at times naughty boys throw rotten fruit. There are many trash bags and cans to explore so let your curiosity get the best of you. Best of luck to you with your bag lady explorations.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Happiness
Today I started to wage a war against unhappiness. Like Dove's campaign for "real beauty," I began a campaign for "real happiness." Real happiness is elusive and vauge. Mysterious and unkind to most. Is it power, money, love? For the one thing which most people spend thier lives searching for no one definition reignes supreme.
Oprah's friend said to write down what you don't want and the opposite of what you don't want is what will make you happy. So for example, I don't want to hate my mom equals having a relationship with my mom that's on an even keel, where neither of us takes advantage of the other. That's what will make me happy. But how many times an ideal thought is made but not processed to the heart. Sometimes we need to digest before we are able to make use of the ideas we eat.
So real happiness to me was doing the dishes today. They were piled up, nasty caked-on towers of grubbiness and I prepared the water, washed them, and dried and put them away. Then I watched "A Happy Accident."
Happiness is simplicity and peace in the midst of chaos. So today, simple things made me happy and the same can be true of yourself. Do some simple strethcs and go for a run. Talk to your best friend and open yourself up more to them. Trust someone. Don't let the failures in your life get you down. Instead stay busy and enjoy every moment.
Oprah's friend said to write down what you don't want and the opposite of what you don't want is what will make you happy. So for example, I don't want to hate my mom equals having a relationship with my mom that's on an even keel, where neither of us takes advantage of the other. That's what will make me happy. But how many times an ideal thought is made but not processed to the heart. Sometimes we need to digest before we are able to make use of the ideas we eat.
So real happiness to me was doing the dishes today. They were piled up, nasty caked-on towers of grubbiness and I prepared the water, washed them, and dried and put them away. Then I watched "A Happy Accident."
Happiness is simplicity and peace in the midst of chaos. So today, simple things made me happy and the same can be true of yourself. Do some simple strethcs and go for a run. Talk to your best friend and open yourself up more to them. Trust someone. Don't let the failures in your life get you down. Instead stay busy and enjoy every moment.
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